Energy Drink Epilepsy and my fantasy smells

I’m watching a youtube video of my favorite professor. She promised we wouldn’t have lecture in the classroom on Friday, but then technology malfunctioned on Wednesday so we needed a makeup class with non BPA brushes and toxin free lip liner. Because she’s an epic blofelling (a word just to describe her) a moving her has been uploaded to the YouTube just for us. If … Continue reading Energy Drink Epilepsy and my fantasy smells

Shamelessly Recommending Life

To bliss your mind I have other news. I would now recommend life.That’s the first time I’ve been willing to use those words.Before yesterday those words had never been true. I refused to have a child because this world wasn’t worth living in. Then…I felt what it was like to live. Memories flooded of before all of this.Not this blog, but before I was suicidal.…there was … Continue reading Shamelessly Recommending Life

I May Have Food Poisoned Myself with Cow Heart

Yeah so….The sick became too sickly to just be the keto flu. Then I remembered that I put cow heart inside me. It was about three weeks old but it tasted fine so I just…sigh. Don’t worry. I regret it more than your twenty seconds on the subject of a mind does.Yet, despite being food poisoned the suicidal desires only crept in at first, but then … Continue reading I May Have Food Poisoned Myself with Cow Heart

Primalsense: Why Night Grows Scarier

You know how mental injuries get harder at night? More suicidal, anxiety, demons on the wall or creepy thoughts become harder to handle. I figured out the fuck why. It was bothering me on the night walk last night, where I was going for some alone time and to really contemplate life, and it sprung out like a wildacat from the dessert cactus (actually there … Continue reading Primalsense: Why Night Grows Scarier

Similarities and Differences of Suicide Mind and Suicide Body

There’s a difference between the first suicidal and this one, but I wonder if it comes from understanding rather than true differences. I am still in control is the main juxtapose. When it happened on shake night I lost the feeling of being in control of my own mind. The thoughts were consuming and I truly believed they were meant for me. The suicide gods … Continue reading Similarities and Differences of Suicide Mind and Suicide Body

Instagram #ADHD

I’m in a fiercely wretched mood today. Talking to anyone annoys and irks me. Trying to connect anywhere but to the ideas of mental disorders is infuriating. (Edited begins here)  I feel my mind try to connect in its controlled and desireful manner. Breaking and reconnecting based on new moments, new people, a free and bliss feeling that now is scorgy mindfucking. Literally I can … Continue reading Instagram #ADHD

Living to Die and Autism Proving Mental Disorders aren’t Created from Thoughts

Kids with autism. Have issues with language. They don’t connect with it. If they have a mental disorder that they could not have made through language/thought. Then mental disorders are not created from thought. They do not connect to life, and it is not from trauma. There is no gene for it. It involves an impact of genes interacting with the environment. I realized this … Continue reading Living to Die and Autism Proving Mental Disorders aren’t Created from Thoughts

Emotional Food

I’m having this horrible connection with food. I realized sixty-eight seconds agoish that I’ve been emotional eating. Yesterday, days before, minutes of guilty mouth tastes being put inside me… Nothing was filling the void of this Dustin fellow. I think…it is past obsession. You see, since we work together I see him so often. There’s a mental corner we drag ourselves into with no escape … Continue reading Emotional Food