Emotional Food

I’m having this horrible connection with food. I realized sixty-eight seconds agoish that I’ve been emotional eating. Yesterday, days before, minutes of guilty mouth tastes being put inside me… Nothing was filling the void of this Dustin fellow. I think…it is past obsession. You see, since we work together I see him so often. There’s a mental corner we drag ourselves into with no escape … Continue reading Emotional Food

The High Twins: Different Responses to Hormone Release

It has been an odd muckfuck of mental days. Nightmares about eating twenty Big Macs. Ever since switching to hammock sleeping my dreams have become as vivid as reality. I’ll wake up and be displaced for hours and truly feel like I’d cheated for the next awakened hours. I’ve been arrogant and cold, unable to connect to life. Yet I could feel…my body is becoming … Continue reading The High Twins: Different Responses to Hormone Release

The Literal Pain of Learning: Can we Feel new Connections Forming?

I was talking to my neuroscience psychology professor today about realization I felt last night. You know how it can hurt to learn something?  Such as when you take a math class and learn a whole new concept and it feels like your brain hurts? Well what if connections are like muscles?  We break and regrow them, and feel a sense of pain. I’m sure … Continue reading The Literal Pain of Learning: Can we Feel new Connections Forming?

Sugar Minded Donuts: The McSuicide Experiment Day 73

There posts are from an experiment I did in 2015 that I am moving over to this blog.   So last night I was consumed by sugar mind. I’d eaten a donut to fit in with the family and I couldn’t stop. After months of no sugar I’d lost my ability to control that addiction. I thought of every way possible to get more donuts. … Continue reading Sugar Minded Donuts: The McSuicide Experiment Day 73

The Very Rough Words to The Suicide Me, My Next Book

Okay after The Box of Chocolates Experiment Phase One, but it might come right after that….or should phase two come out…oh decisions. Looking back I see more and more that I’ve been suicidal my whole life. I kept looking for reasons to allow myself to die. If I just accomplished getting Animal out I could finally die. I had finally paid my penance. In moments … Continue reading The Very Rough Words to The Suicide Me, My Next Book

Another ADHD Conquest: Untrapping Connections: The McSuicide Experiment Day Sixty Three

There posts are from an experiment I did in 2015 that I am moving over to this blog. Camera Story A few days ago I left information out of your brains. Information I put into draft and then left drafted and unpublished. Forgive me loves. I had a moment where I lost my camera when I really needed it for food blogging. The day before … Continue reading Another ADHD Conquest: Untrapping Connections: The McSuicide Experiment Day Sixty Three