So life right now.
The Arizona water thing…well. It..sigh fuck
The things I would do if my parents were dead.
You see the world is this game to me. Truly, it is. I don’t see the reality of it. All of the ‘game’ feelings you have when you play one, that it doesn’t matter if you fuck up because it’s all fake anyways, that’s how I generally feel about life.
The jobs, the designs of life plans, the wife, the atmosphere, the buildings, the food, and sometimes even the people.
So if my life does move in the ‘wrong’ ways to the plans of this game I’ll just form my own.
Until my parents get scared, worried, or think I’m going to die.
Aziz scared them.
He’s got this long…report you see. Some assault charges, anger issues, and he’s changed the business name a few times. His money dwindled, blahde blah fucks. It is so hard to care. I never fully cared about the fact he had anger seeping out of his skin. I didn’t need a report for that. It was known. I knew. I still wanted to go. I can handle all that crickle in the life plan. The odd challenges that scare other humans are where I thrive, entice and feel alive.
Maybe I’ve subscribed my mind to that song.
The one…things that kill me make me feel alive, alive things make me dead…something along those words. I didn’t subscribe very well. …more like..huh
I imagined drawing a picture there.
LIke I used to , all the time.
There was fear, a mind rebound, a scamper.
The association of that vulnerability is locked into my fear receptors somewhere, which flow…which part do I fear?
Categorized.Aspect of overwhelming.Balance of office, comforting parents on my life paths, writing books, making a company, helping humanity, screenwriting, wanting to be free so everything feels capturing. I shouldn’t tell you the new plan I have to break free
Silly human, I thought you’d learned already.
How am I going to explain this one?
So life right now.