Fearful Resources might just be ChAnged rEsOuRces

So yesterday.

My feet were in the grass as I moved them, my weight above them and pushing into the ground.

It was after the long work of the day was over, from an office perspective.

I wanted my mind to feel life again and to re-fragment its senses to Earth as it glitched away from the computer.

My mind adapting to smells and wind, to the trees it has known forever. Sparking into connections it knows. It sparks no danger into my senses and re-situates awareness to calm. No fighting needed. All resources are known.

I move faster, my feet hold my weight but in a balance, I feel my whole body as the muscles move to hold my being, keeping me in place despite the prancing through the land.

The land is a blanket of silk in the way the grass could make me slip, but holds the texture of green blades that catch me with firm dirt beneath to hold an even stronger texture.

Movements almost make my being collapse in fragmented balance, but quickly my animal tunes into primalsense and memories, finding exactly how to maneuver the grounds without my presence. I need merely sit back and watch me, yet stand within my own being.

The land moves faster and I become impressed with the human I am inside of, still at that disconnect to where I get to watch  myself. The ultimate adaption of projection.

Humans have this magnificent ability to go out of themselves in order to project the world. They are all over it. From every region of this land comes thoughts, and ways of how to adapt to that piece.

It spreads through their genes to where it gets into their species, and then the offspring move to newer regions. The adaptations spread into their very beings.

I feel the grass as if I’ve known it before birth, a common resource towards earth. Water satisfies me everywhere, a resource they all know, one that feeds this whole planet.

Meat reaches into all my knowledge. With each bite my eyes seduce this body and there is no separation. Every sense agrees with it.



So yesterday,

I was running across the land like a ninja Indian, minus the ninja because I wasn’t wearing any black and I never had a hiding place. There were shadows, but they were stretched out by the river and hundreds of ninja feet away. Also the longhorns were there and I moreso was a bunny and gave them their space out of fear those horns would penetrate my fuzzy.

Oh as a random memory sidenote from that fear trigger, I burnt my hair yesterday when I tried to light the grill while the gas was on.
Yeah, singed my hair and I put my hands through it to find almost ash crumbling into my hair from my red locks.

I singed my eyelashes.
In beast mode though I feel I’ve passed the initiation of grilling. Survive fire wooshing out of grill. Check.

So I was having cleansing happy time of life and feeling floods of fear crash through me and out into the ground as the sweat that dripped off my skin.
A flash happened. Blueprinted memory.
Resource coming back up.
I saw my kitchen and felt a flood of emotion again. I’ll have to get insurance soon. Self damage potential is rising.
I saw myself in the kitchen marinating meat.
Then I felt ‘sad’.
‘Ohhh. Must’ve been a blocked blueprint, held back by the fear that’s been trapping me.’ Previous info is lately I’ve been hoarding (resource value of fear assessment, needing to store), and hiding from the parents. I think it’s due to brain paths remembering punishment from being a wee one and having to break through that to find myself as a resource again/ confidence. Confidence in my own ideas, opinions and paths. Eventually to become a fight of Ainsley’s life paths. Parent path Battles

Then I analyzed it.

ToOk myself into my brain.
‘Sup brain?’ ‘Well man, lady, whateves, I’m thinking it might not be fear, but might simply be something else. It’s happened too often. It ‘feels’ like fear, but might be something else.; …. What if it’s just a resource change?
What if ‘sad’ Is simply Your resources having a change.
Your brain searches for ones it knows, realizes they aren’t there, and has to ‘change’ them into new ones.
Chemicals in the brain fire elsewhere. Pathways change. Maybe even a hormone flow.

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