Brain Projection: “I’m Disconnected. Fix my Chemicals Baby” | The Box of Chocolates Experiment
The brain knows it.
No matter how far I get through my layers and shatter fear and feel life.
No matter how much I reach into existence and love it and feel the journey explode forth into existence like earth fondling my veins.
Life can still scream.
I don’t escape the disconnect whenever it is provoked.
I got away from food in this because…because I hated it. I hated believing that food could cause suicide and disconnect.
What if it’s just the human?
What if it’s simply that existence is horrifying because we don’t know why we exist?
But every fucking time I think the word existence and spiral I think of what I’ve eaten, and every fucking time it is either sugar or random meats I didn’t check for hormones.
There needs to be an ap for that.
The main thing is that it isn’t hippy bullox. It makes sense. If there are things in us that our body gets confused over, and even creates disconnects in connections to nutrients or brain flow, then the brain knows it. The brain projects it.
The word ‘existence’ can be viewed as a sound.
A brain trigger.
A sound that triggers my brain to spiral.
It no longer becomes a meaning but for its existential holding. It’s sound makes me become aware. Every time. Maybe when I first heard it and was told of it, someone described it as awareness.
Now my brain associates it.
The consistency is too strong.