I found my liquid brain love in Alpine. It started with the Oaxaca old fashioned and tequila. That taste stroked my mind just right, but that love is fading and bursting. It comes in for quickies but doesn’t stay through the day.
I don’t drink absinthe in the day either, but it’s thoughts remain.
Two nights on absinthe I’ve had vivid dreams. I wake up to vibrant pictures that my reality is playing in.
Structure of obejects nd detail is vivd (translated into the structure of objects and details are vivid)
I’d been concerned before…but not that heavily converned. Maybe it needed to burst through and I was in denial, or, in fact, my resource assessment value was set to “Freak the flip out! We are low! Oh we are super fucking low!1 There’s no resources anywhere and we are scared. Get us them. Get us them now. Wait…oh fuck….no…we can’t get them. We’re on absinthe and tequila and chartreuise and we have no function. Fuck…let’s just…fuck….I don’t even know. Let’s just break allllll the previous established resource connections. They aren’t real man.” ANnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd reality shatter of previous reserouce assessment into teary Ainsley over organ meat
Contributions to this idea is how it started. There’s a man that was talking about deer meat here. I asked about getting some and he said I’d have to talk to What’ss his name (he knew the name). I asked when he got back and Vince was like “It’s okay. We can just ask tomorrow and led me to bed.” I got wild eyed and said “Are you sure” with this deep desperation. “Yes.” “Pinkie promise.” Somehow that calmed me. That pinkie promise was so legit in my head.
Now that is a previous established connotation of the past…which explains why my brain accepted it. It was deep accessing past resrouces and accepted them as an established base. I’ve made people pinkie promise in the past as a very legitimate promise. I also hold myself to them. It’s been used in serious things as well that I had to believe would happen…I should access how that started. So many layers to it…I just heard “Abbey” in my head so she must be linked to some blueprint.
Oh my blueprtinting ferocity!!! When on absinthe I,….lines and angles and the material world ‘stood out’. My fine motor movement assessment was stark and on a scale of about 14 to the usual 10 cap of the scale. Very vivid and very aware.
Also I had a hallucination. Two of them. When I awoke around midnight. It was a shadow one. The common hallucination of a shadow above you, and then it left the room and there was a pretty one. Very demon and angelesque. I stored the memory of the dark one but not the light…grrr. But I felt one before sleep too, and it was from absinthe. It can definitely create hallucinations, this is actually already known.
At one point there was this vivid hallucination of a small me. I’ve seen it before, just milder and it would flee…well no it’s been this way before, the memory just didn’t feel so vivid/the moment of it. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to pull the memory through all the memories since it happened, but usually I do have to ‘cling’ when I see small me. It happens when I feel ‘regressed’ or access past pain. Especially when I try to move past childhood memories. I’ll feel this deep, deep fear and then see myself as a small person. Literally just….smaller. The size ranges too.
In a shadow.
I can make myself larger by accessing the fear and then merge into myself. It generally has a cleanse feeling, at the end, but it can start with a lot of pain and sometimes I lose it and don’t cleanse it all.
This time I saw it vividly and knew exactly what to do. I simply found where the pain was and cleansed it. There was no search around for it or force. I simply did it. Nothing was in the way.
I had absinthe again in this incredible cocktail at … my brain keeps losing the words. It hears El Cochineal, which combines words of El Cosmico and Cochineal, neither of which are the true name of the place. I’ve mixed the words up so often my paths go different ways and can’t find the memory. It’s annoying. I just want to remember it.
El Cosmico! Fuck…no, but that one at least feels more solid.
I was at a place that is a bar in Marfa and it had a fate twist to it. It felt like I had to go there. I’d already told Anker to look at my face. “Doesn’t it just…look like it’s meant to do something tonight?” He looked at it and agreed. We hadn’t had any drinks. My face was far more set to active in its lines somehow.
We go in to…sigh…it will come. I’m not Googling it. Things happen that aren’t relevant and I meet this man named Carlos. He is relevant. We ‘click’ in ways that bring fate in. He tells me how he loves the Oaxcan old fashioned and that it was actually made ‘here’, wherever ‘here’ is/the name of the bar. He also is very ‘into’ bartending.
The people that I have work with me at Seven have to be perfect. They have to care. Especially about their craft. Well…that’s not true of any of the others, which means I’m just clinging to Justin. He ‘lost’ what I wanted from him. He cares about bitters and reads the books and gets mentally soaked when he speaks of cocktails, but he also is an alcoholic. Carlos is not an alcoholic. I checked. Sugar addict yes, but he’s willing to get rid of it.
I have Carlos duoan interview. “Make me a cocktail. You have to make up all of it. Also name it. Take your time.”
He genuinely does take his time. I randomly feel he has forgotten, but enjoy Anker enough to be in the present with him and just let the cocktail happen or not. Besides, Carlos is musing through bottles and looks to be in thought, so he is most likely making it.
He brings me this orange salt rimmed cocktail glass. Oh, and I had him do it with no sugar.
The color is exquisite and I pull it to my lips, notice some salt isn’t on a fourth of it and am pleased, just how I like it. I bring my arm and the drink to my mouth and pause. “Is this intentional? The rim?”
“Well yeah, I didn’t know how you like it and you might want to try it without the salt.”
Yeah that’s just…seriously…time stopped. The earth’s calendar marked itself where time stood still.
The taste divinely took my mouth and mind, sweetly tracing my tongue yet holding all its flavor.
“This is going to be the signature drink at Seven.”
So I had a shot of absinthe before that.
Again that night I had vivid dreams. Too vivid. They woke me. The images were being projected with an amplitude outside of balance.
Remember the Hypothesis of my Last Post?
Actually I have a game to play. Try and reach the same conclusion. Go. You have all the data.