In reality of past moments I never wanted to promote or encourage people to be me.
To be … to recommend.
I didn’t want anyone to ever feel the way I do.
I never told other humans what to do, or how to act, because I felt so miserable and ready to die that any promotions, even of the things that I loved, felt like they could lead others into my pain.
I would simper away at the idea of favorite things, unless another human worded out theirs, and they were mine too. I felt connected at someone favoriting Howl’s Moving Castle or Edward Scissorhands, that they and I then shared a secret. That we were connected. That I could finally connect.
I felt so disconnected, because I was. Because I literally was not connecting to life, I felt as my neurogenesis struggled to attach me to the connections through myelin that was deteriorated. and a mind that could not adapt itself. I would get stuck in my own mind and be unable to feel, unable to release the chemicals of life…my mind was a frightening devastation of the lack of existence.
The nutrients of life that we consume, that we need in order to function, I was deprived of. Without those nutrients of life I lost mine.
Because of this…because I know what it means to be in that mind. To know the pain, I can now speak to you. Because of those moments I connect to your disconnection. To my old one. To the one I still feel when I test the insanity of my own idea, of Grain Brain’s idea, of the science to support it.
The studies don’t matter if you don’t believe them. in fact, if you’re in the mind I was, you won’t believe them until you try it, even if you read them.
Left and right hemisphere disconnect.
The blueprint of your being.
Are you willing to risk the rest of your life because of a denial?
Are you willing to lose yourself, to disconnect, to never connect…because it is ‘insane’ to believe food causes mental disorders? To believe that what you put in you could so deeply and scroungily and scorgy mind your insides…that what you put in you affects what is in you?
Please stop risking your mind.
We beg of you.
P.S. If you are a first time viewer to this blog I request you begin at the beginning.