6:33 December 4/2015

The less you can adapt the more compulsive you get


Bugs beneath the skin= sugar (reference Animal and then current moment)

Asparagus and lemon and mint and basil and salt yogurt smoothie

Salt transcends the egg

Put the slow cooker on

I can see our past lives, Jeffrey’s ABbeys and Is the more I cleanse

WHen you feel fear and then anger after a stimuli and it is from the past and got stuck (from the initial fear and anger) you rebound, you feel that fear and run away and not adapt, because you diddn;t adapt to it before, and then you get OCD where a person can’t adapt but is trying over and over again as they become aware of it and know they can’t adapt so they compulse over and over, reboudning off of that fear. That’s where we get mental disorders. Built up moments of not being able to adapt. The same as a a drug. It makes it to where you overadapt in one area/overactivity,  but then don’t adapt in another. Your brain has to adapt to the drug…those places it doesn’t adapt build up.

That’s whyh weed has no withdrawals, is because it has no adaptations


Look back in your notes

Turkey yogurt fennel wraps..wait..ham

I hated thinking because my thoughts…my me..the voice I use to think, was holding my persoanlity

I could feel that thinking was disconnecting m.e..then would get angry. I was connecting to my anger…which had become my entire voice. All this time…my voice was a cue into me, so the deeper I got into it and the mroe I ‘realized’ that my own thoughts were disconnecting me, and I hate myself, the more I dioscnnected

I let that anger sprial me amd then felt myself not adapting, I became suicidal because I wasn’t adapting, everytime I hit one of those pains, those moments where I hadn’t adapted, I felt that I wasn’t adapting and felt doomed, suicidal, didn’t wantt to live…feeling that I hadn’t adapted and letting it consume me, but each moment I felt it I was adapting, I was taking that stuckc maladaption and cleansing it, letting it become my bitch. I was working it out like a muscle I could fondle and subdue. I got me. I control me. I can take away my pain. I can fucking adapt bitches.

P.S. If you are a first time viewer to this blog I request you begin at the beginning

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