There are moments i Just have to get the thoughts out of me….to not store them…to not be them. Mostly they must come out so that the world can have them, but also so new ones can burrow their way in. The idea of messaging myself was easy, but I tire of continuous mediums
Have you ever realized we’re uploading our thoughts into the greater consciousness?
How fucking kewl.
Okay so a few breakdowns I want to cover in the ensuing time are
How an M&M made me cry and broke down any idea that i can live in America.
I see too much to close my eyes.
Thus they grow weary. They hurt to keep up yet refuse to shut down.
So when you blank (such as with an M&M)
It was from that change…that we have turned into an exploitation of money for them. Shown by blank
We gave them the very ideas they control us with, the money. We fuel them and they use it to control us.
If you think control is a strong word let me break it down for you. Starting with fast food.
They addicted you to their names, their brands, their very means of oversurvival. They have nothing more to strive for. They have passed evolution and hit stagnation so now they continue rising into a false oblivion of meaning while slowly and quickly breaking down our ability to adapt.
We have lost the evolutionary adaptation of our species so completely we have humans trapped in their own bodies, unable to physically adapt to life.
We have humans that can not connect to reproduction and thus struggle to live in a society at all.
We even have humans that have disconnected from intelligence and just turned into sex gods and godesses.
Repeated Motions of Humans/Copying Each Other
Do we repeat others actions to see if they fit into continuous evolution
To check and see if we have those same signs?
TO see if something is changing in the world?
TO see if we need to adapt/have already adapted (!!!) Maybe?
Repeat songs…trapped….or….why do we love to repeat. them? To bond across all the bridging?
Must we continually bridge in order to form the final bond?
I can’t sleep but for crawling onto the floor in order to escape the hammock.
Computer screens stick more. Their images remain in us.
I’ve been on screens too much lately and it seems to be affecting me.
Nights and days far away I can drift into sleep, easily adapting and calming to thoughts of life. I can feel my third eye vibrating and connecting to life while I hold and massage it.
I reach new feelings of peace and life that also exemplify adaptation. There is pain or full feelings of every emotion (the full potential of feelings).
The Care Control (as discussed with Jeffrey)
Then on nights where I’ve been on the screen all day, adaptation is scartchy. Trying to sleep I feel thoughts I cannot control.
I feel consumed by Dustin rather than am able to feel the origin of that emotions (breadown)
On nights of ill control (hhaha, like a side effect of mental illness…oh that works well). My control has fallen ill captain mindgasms!
Okay so the thoughts become a consumption of a potion laced in love juice. It is false and obsessive with little denial of its obviousness.
I swoon and invoke and let heart flutter out above my head, but they are smoke and glass. Shattering and whimsy.
I can’t move past them and shatter and smoke myself, captured yet fueled between the two. I want to stop thinking and fall asleep, yet wonder if thoughts can lead to him.
Then I pause and realize.
It is all in my head.
All of the obsessing and the planning is not forming a physicallity.
And yet it can…thoughts can form reality in all the ways we view reality.
Yet without it those structures (as minimal as a meal and maximal as a building) would not exist.
So if we have thoughts that don’t form structure do they exist?
How many thoughts does it take to leak it into some greater thinking inevitability of their creation?
If thoughts feel real in our head…
yet are not real…
Do we disconnect?
The thoughts lend to ideas of being unloved, they reach into rejection that streamlines (like a heart monitor) across my consciousness for the upcoming minutes to hours.
They remain and I rebound around and off that line, solving what is around it rather than the line.
The thoughts become abstract and menial, yet exist around this line and thus I believe they maintain it.
The line is maintained within itself though.
The only way to break the thoughts is to break the line.
Without screens I am more able to break and realize the line’s formation.
More of a bubble. Let’s make it a bubble. It is definitely more centralized.
Last night was mind screens and I felt trapped, despite breakthrough the night before I always seem to have layers left of this obsession fueld by the fear of rejection. I’ll stop over using fueled soon, it just works in my mind right now and keeps coming out for your explanation.
The night before I was able to feel him. Or at least my perception of thinking that fueled the possibility that I could feel him.
Since I have a twin there isn’t much denial that I can reach into the mind/human strings of the world …and…connect to another human…string
We just…talked about
Can I feel it when our string is off?
I have lab to off to that. I’ll upload edits and pictures to the thoughts above at a later time. It is Wednesday though. post day…ish..soemtimes. Mostly they seem to be occurring on Sundays. The overwhelmption of life is still immense so as these posts build up in need for explanation I become even more overwhelmed. You shall just have to deal mindlovingblissfuckers.