I might be doing this…detrimental yet…not detrimental thing on the Instagram. Detrimental from it’s wear on my soul. Hopeful as a dress I will twirl with to flow near those in need.
You can search hashtags. And well…I searched one for McDonalds.
Has my madness turn full fledged and I only find links because I am bias eyed? Or, is there actually a link between fast food and social anxiety/depression/gore/suicide?
For a few moments the link seemed small. There were fat people but also happy ones. General humans traversing through this life.
Then I found it…
Life goal reminder: Learn Asian
What all does Instagram hold I wondered. What if I just searched the suicide tag? Could I find a link of processed food and suicide?
Check the top left hashtag:
Then I wanted to find out how linked that tag is to the body. Anorexia kept coming up. Nutrient deprived humans disconnected from food.
I kept looking through #suicide and seeing #anorexia
People hating the bodies they are living in.
Disconnected yet yearning for food:
Then I realized obsession in it. The equal and opposite of reproduction yet still feeling triggers to connect to humans. I noticed a trail of people still lost in the idea of needing another human.
Then I found the one I related to most…the one from shake night.
I found that one and it triggered that memory and…I imagined the water rushing over me, and staring up through it. Light tinkering off and just floating. At peace. The same image, the trigger, and my body no longer desires it. I deeply feel it though. An emotion created within, deeply connected but not suicidal. In fact in looking through all of these I feel so much pain, but I also feel hope.
There it was….that comment button. Could I help? Could I be straight inside the source?
Of course, not all want it:
Sigh…humans. I am accepting more and more that I can’t change certain things. The acceptance feels amazing. Definitely a ‘step’.
Instagram became a place where I could relate and yet tell them there is hope. In ways it is hard to connect back to those moments with who I am now, yet I have the control now to handle it. I want to share that control
Then….I actually convinced someone.
We just have to care. We can not ignore the pain of the world and hope it goes away. We must embrace what is in front of us. These people. So many of them #cyringforhelp. So many humans suffering and not knowing why. We have to discover why. Most of all though we just have to care.
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