It took me watching a fly as I squished at its life to realize this. It kept fighting. Despite having an arm broken and water soaking its entire body this fly still tried to escape and live.
This should have been my argument the whole time.
So obvious so …. aware making.
We are wired to live. By being human. That is animal. That is primal. That is evolution.
The desire to die then must then be soaked in from our mind or also brought from the body.
Yes, the mind can cause more pain, can access the connections of ill life desire (death) and lend to suicide, but the body has to react. The body has to signal with you.
They say to be worried if a suicidal person either plans suicide or thinks of ways to do it.
I never had those things until this experiment. No suicidal thoughts or self pain ever fully provoked but for mental tinkerings right on that scraping edge. I would imagine but not connect.
During the experiment I connected then imagined.
The difference being in one I would actually do it. In imagining it I would deeply want it but could never take the plunge, always stopping.
When the food caused it I could take the plunge but the idea of what I still had to do, to complete the experiment going, kept me alive. Also, to think I might know why and that others had to know too.
I am overwhelmed by finishing this book, starting college, maintaining Mind Lifting Mouthgasms, working at Alamo and maintaining a social life. I vented a bit to the twin and she had the solution. Post here once a week. I agree with this. Let’s do a three. Wednesday. Every Wednesday you shall receive a post.